i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
