Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
