I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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