you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
did i just pee glitter
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
