He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
