from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
