He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
