he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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