How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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