Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
