i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
