How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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