You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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