Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
