apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
