Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
