oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
