She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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