Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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