its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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