the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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