I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
