One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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