my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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