I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize