good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize