YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
