And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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