when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
