I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
