What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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