Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
