she was so not down for the gang bang
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
