She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
