Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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