the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
being pregnant is like rehab
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
