Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
