I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
