franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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