He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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