i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
