im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
