im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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