I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
