I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
