I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
