In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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