JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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