My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
