Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
