Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Semen is not good for contacts.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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