The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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