Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
