My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
