I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
