lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
