I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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